[joelmichael]

I am guilty of the "Fuck you" one. The offered terms insulted me so much I no longer wanted to do business with the person. Had I taken this article's advice, I would have stayed calm and moved toward some highly unsatisfying "middle ground" purely to "close the deal". We are faced with innumerable opportunities in our lives, and we need to filter out the best ones; for most negotiations, a successful outcome is not making a deal.

[moe]

   The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
   - David Russell

[enjo]

Bah.. never burn a bridge, simply don't cross it and find another way across.

[moe]

  Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge.
  - Don Henley

[mcantor]

Man! You're like the MacGyver of bridge-related quotes. It's amazing.

[mahmud]

  Kind words bridge hearts, but also diamonds, clubs and spades
  - Jack Handey

[achompas]

What deep thoughts by Mr. Handey...

[Mz]

But what happens when the Magog come pouring across it?

(Just wondering.)

Edit: I don't know if people don't get the reference or think I am merely being flippant. I'm not. I don't like burning bridges either. But sometimes I find it is the only way to put an end to a problem situation where the more I try to be polite and all that, the more neurotic and demanding and blood-sucking they become. If someone here knows how to handle that effectively without "burning the bridge", I would love to hear their take on it.

[dmoney]

I don't get the reference. The search engines don't turn up anything relevant either.

[Mz]

Andromeda, the TV show. On some episode, on some planet, they build a bridge to the moon and I think somehow also to the future. When they open it, the Magog from the future come pouring out. The Magog are a race that eat humans and also lay their eggs in them and the eggs feed on the (still living) humans until they hatch out. Not exactly pleasant stuff.

Or at least that's what my mangled brain recalls from watching it a zillion years ago.

It was the first thing that came to mind in response to "never burn a bridge". I am disinclined to burn bridges myself. But I find sometimes that trying like hell to avoid burning the bridge just gets me into huge messes that have me wondering if so much politeness, manners, respectfulness and what not is really a good thing. It has helped me make my peace with incidents in my life where other people torched the bridge. At least it's been put to rest.

Edit: Link: http://andromeda.wikia.com/wiki/Abridging_the_Devils_Divide

[mahmud]

Actually, a lot of recent horror and sci-fi stuff is lifted from Islamic mythology (which itself is rebranded Jewish, Kanaanite and Babylonian lore.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gog_and_Magog

The TV show "Supernatural" heavily features themes of spirituality and daemons that are lifted from Islamic culture. The recent remake of Clash of the Titans also feature similar themes; the Jin, desert scorpions, Jin riding camels, etc.

[ludicast]

Andromeda could have been the best SciFi show of all time and the ruined it.

The Magog, the Nietzscheans, the hot chicks. That show could have had it all.

[JacobAldridge]

There's benefit in saying 'thanks, but no thanks' rather than Fuck You, and I don't think the OP claims otherwise.

In fact, the 'take-away' can sometimes be a great think to say in negotiations - it forces the other party into realising that they need this more than you. Of course, this only really works when they do actually need this more than you. Otherwise you come back later, looking desperate, and ready to get out-negotiated.

[lionhearted]

This is true, but much better to laugh than get angry. If you get crazy-bad terms, just laugh. "Hah, whoa, that's not what I was expecting..."

If their offer is absurd, treat it like it's absurd. The key is to not take it personally. Laugh. They'll either get more reasonable, or you can walk away without burning bridges.

[mjh8136]

Thanks lionhearted.

--Mike Hofman

[A1kmm]

If the deal isn't worth it for you, and you don't have any contractual obligations already, negotiating doesn't mean you have to make a deal. But there are several reasons why someone might make an insultingly low offer, and it may still be possible to come to a mutually beneficial arrangement.

They may simply be trying a hard-ball negotiation strategy, while being able to afford to go a lot higher.

The best thing you can do is to explain that their offer is worse than nothing for you and there is no way you can go ahead with it (but don't tell them your break-even point), and collect more information about their situation - understand why they want to do business with you, try to understand it from their point of view: how much revenue can they make from what you have, and what their costs and revenues for substitute options. If they won't get as much revenue from the deal as what your costs will be, then it is not possible for you both to make a profit and you can part amicably without doing a deal.

If they would bring in a lot of revenue because of the deal compared to their next best option, you can offer them a price which splits the profit for mutual benefit.

Collecting the information needed to see it from their point of view is hard and takes tact, but it is the most important part of negotiating.

[ScottBurson]

I think saying something along the lines of "we're wasting our time here" and getting up and walking out would be even more effective.

[mjh8136]

Scott, I tend to agree. I also think it makes sense to actually mean it -- in other words, to have a certain percentage of negotiations that actually don't result in a deal.

--Mike Hofman

[jacques_chester]

In game theory terms, it might be a viable strategy to burn deals at random in order to reinforce the signal that you can, and do, have the willpower to turn down deals.

[alecco]

The trick with douchebags is to 2x the price (or 1/2 if buying) or some other multiplier and make it clear it's non-negotiable. You don't loose your cool, the idiot will feel bad, and they'll think about it twice next time. Sometimes they get desperate and crawl back and close for 2x/3x the price and with a much more profesional attitude. YMMV

[Duff]

It depends on the actual negotiating position. Sometimes you are negotiating with a second stringer who isn't empowered to do what needs to be done.

If the other party needs you and knows it, the "fuck you" or "walk away" tactic brings things to a head quickly.

[tastybites]

It takes a bit of experience (and some balls) to know which people to tell off - but! Never underestimate the incredible morale boost a properly crafted "fuck you" can bring to an overworked team in the heat of battle. When followed by a company happy hour, I've seen miraculous things happen.

The world is filled with quacks and assholes - as soon as your radar is tuned, you'll be able to filter the people worth keeping good relations with.

[pasbesoin]

Sometimes, a situation is in (desperate) need of some honest feedback.