[littlethrowaway]

We have a 15 month old. She is probably the easiest kid imaginable, sleeps really well, eats really well, great temperament. It's still ridiculously hard work. My partner still isn't recovered from the birthing process (some latent muscle imbalances came out). She wants another one, I'm happy to stick with one healthy one. So incredibly hard to know what to do when _most_ stories you hear are about how it's better to have two than one.

If anyone has some research which says only children are totally fine I'd love to read it (even if just to confirm what I'd like to hear ;) heh.

We are happy we have her, mostly, but our old life was kick ass too. If you're not reasonably sure you want kids, just read some of these comments, you really should expect to (somewhat) leave your old life behind and enter a new stage, where looking after the new human is the top priority.

I still get out biking, playing squash, bike a bit, life definitely goes on, but it's definitely a rewarding sacrifice.

[RobertRoberts]

My oldest just graduated from college. Just like childhood, if feels long while you are in it, when it's over it feels like it went fast.

But, now I have a young adult that is permanently attached to me in a close and wonderful way for the rest of my life. I wouldn't trade any extra hours of netflix or going out to eat for having my own people.

Have as many kids as you are willing/able to have. I had 5. First one is a shock. Second one means one kid per parent. Third is now a full family, but the oldest is so thrilled about a sibling now and there is play and joy in the house. 4th and 5th don't really add any extra work (mentally) other than you have a few extra years dealing with kids. And you need a minivan. (which I love anyway for many reasons) The older the kids get the more they take care of themselves, and eventually add more to the family than they need.

Now, when my two oldest visit, we have a defacto party and we have so much fun hanging out and playing, talking, laughing, cooking together, making plans...

I get this for the rest of my life now.

Best investment I have ever made.

Edit: We know a family that both parents were single kids (they said their childhoods were lonely) so they had 7 kids and then adopted 7 more (all siblings from a messed up home). They love it, their house is like a dorm. I couldn't do this, so I think its so much about your life experience.

[samcodes]

I have a 4 year old and a two month old. We’re in a major metropolis, and most couples seem to choose between 0 and 1 kid, but my wife and I have both always said we wanted 3 or more. This was a nice perspective to hear. For the first 2 years of #1’s life, I couldn’t imagine having a second. But the feeling of “that was it, no more kids” only lasted like a month with #2.

One thing I’m noticing - I expected the joy to grow linearly with number of kids, but I think it actually grows linearly in number of relationships in the family. The interactions between them are so amazing to watch. I’ve always been really terrified to die, and now I definitely don’t want to, because I want to be there for my kids... but if I know that they will have each other’s back, I’m much more okay with not existing one day.

[RobertRoberts]

That is an interesting way of looking at the relationship connections with "joy" (in a generic manner perhaps?). My kids' interactions with each other certainly add more to our enjoyment than just 5 individual people separately.