| You need a shift in perspective in order to drive the behavior you want. It seems like past experiences have given you the mental lens of "I am inferior to others / I don't have anything that other people want."
This is going to give you a cognitive bias every time you interact with people. The brain is uncomfortable being wrong and will actually look for evidence that is not there in order to confirm a flawed belief that it thinks will "keep you safe". To change this, identify what beliefs may be limiting you. Can these be boiled down to a more simple idea / level? Then challenge those beliefs in two ways: first with logic (does this actually make reasonable sense?) with the aim of inspiring doubt, then with daily controlled exposure with the aim of creating a library of small experiences that your brain can weigh against past evidence and form a new belief. Action < Thoughts < Beliefs < Experiences This is why most people suggest working out, taking a martial art class, going to bars, or other things because all of these help create that different point of reference- which is everything. There's many things you can do and only you really know what they are. More than likely, they're the things that you think about but feel hesitation over, and as I mentioned, there are a lot so by the simply fact that it's occurred to you it's likely relevant and worth trying. I'd recommend seeing a counselor; it's great. Bonus points if they have a sense of humor... and try brazillian jujitsu. And remember, you're not trying to sell things to people: people want to buy things from you and they need your help, and you're offering a service. If there's resistance, it's because they don't understand the value. Good luck! |