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by dufusheart
5611 days ago
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This is true. And I understand that if you suck at something, the only way to get better is to confront the fact that you suck at it and work on it. I guess it's just hard to process that there's someone out there who knows a ton about me and based on that, wants nothing to do with me. I feel like my startup could get a buyout offer tomorrow and that fact would still be ringing in my ears. |
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Try and "re-frame" it. You now know a lot about her, and she doesn't sound right for you. Get to a place where you can fully agree with yourself that you're better off without her. It's hard though.
Also keep in mind is that often these flaws are projections. Either of her own flaws, those of past significant others, her parents, etc. She might be right. But she might be wrong. As other posters have said, what is a flaw to her, may be an odd habit that your next partner will grin at.
Personally, I found the best way to get over things was female company. My female friends were much better at making me feel good about myself. My male engineering friends were good at keeping me distracted, but weren't equipped to talk about what happened.
And one reason why I don't like seeing my most significant ex: I am reminded of her good qualities when I see her, and forget the bad. I wonder if it was the right decision all over again, and that's very uncomfortable. She probably doesn't want to see you because she doesn't want to face the dilemma: did she make the right decision? This particular ex admitted to me last year that she still thinks about me 2 years later.
And dufusheart, if these are flaws, the best time to work on them is in your next relationship. You'll be older and wiser, be able to judge more accurately, but most importantly, talk about them with your new partner. It's uncomfortable, but worthwhile!