[hestipod]

I don't need to "talk". I need practical support. I don't need words. I need money and a flat and stability and medical care. The same things I have always needed and was always denied. I've called hotlines in some dark times and they were useless. Most are just call centers for private clinics and try to get you into a paying facility. Everyone I know who has ever called them had the same experiences. Some were even betrayed and had authorities sent to their homes resulting in imprisonment in a mental facility and massive bills making their financial problems even worse. Nothing people think they "know" intuitively about suicidal people or the "options" we have is correct. Most things they do make it worse. To help you have to solve root problems...and root problems cost money and take commitment of time and energy. That's too much bother for people so they hand out pills and hotlines.

[prpon]

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you hang in there, one moment, one breath at a time. I will hold you in my thoughts tonight.