[christiansakai]

Last night I actually just binge watching Youtube and Youtube sent me to that side of Youtube, where I gradually progress from watching something about instagram reality, then people being ugly living in society, abandoned by parents and families, and then....to people with crazy incurable debilitating diseases and disabilities such as conjoined twins on head, torso, people having burns all over the body literally looked like a living zombie, people with bended bones all over the place, people with no limbs, people with extra skins that made them looked like elephants, people born without eyes, people with flesh eating diseases, people with upside down head due to backbone disease, and a lot of these people are kids....

and yet they are still fighting daily, encouraging us, who are luckier than them, to not give up. I felt sad, but at the same time really encouraged and thankful. I hope all of them will find love and peace in spite of their conditions

[hestipod]

Yeah I am one of those people in many of the ways you have listed so the "we should appreciate how lucky we are" thing doesn't really apply to me. I am not lucky. I was disfigured, disabled, left in severe pain. I do not have a loving family or social support. I lost everything I worked hard for. That's the entire problem...there is no hope or help or luck. I am really an idiot for ever speaking about this because it's always those sort of scripts, or criticism, or hopes and prayers...the one thing that would help people who have it this bad...time and money...aren't something people are willing to spend. I need to stop expressing myself at all because the same old same old is just upsetting. Desperation makes you a fool and causes you to beat your head against the walls closing in on you even though all it does it make it hurt more.