[throwaway40324]

Alcohol use, itself, does have traits that some are more sensitive to. Alcoholism, though may be the case for many repeat offenders, and is a disease, not really a trait, but a series of traits that are symptoms.

In general, impairment is a trait that does lead to bad decisions, like driving under the influence.

[harlanji]

It’s incredibly hard to escape a poor childhood with few role models. In my case 3 points made a line so I became an alcoholic. Family; friends esp. at University (esp. esp. the Koreans); colleagues esp. when I arrived in Silicon Valley. Drinking was how we hung out, bars and clubs were where we made rando friends, loud parties were where we got wild, etc. In retrospect there were plenty of non-drinking options under my nose, but we see what we pay attention to.

Now since laying off drinking culture and focusing on health in 2012, I find myself ostracized and slandered by my old drinking friends and colleagues (look up scapegoat), and really completely alone in the world. I have become homeless and am mercilessly bullied at each job because I lack social skills of non-drinkers and am not likable to drinkers.

Everything is pushing me back to alcoholism. I have a bottle of wine in my bag that I don’t drink... I’ve had like 5 drinks in 3 years. In 2013 I was accused of DUI with 3 drinks in my system in 3 hours, and that has caused innumerable problems in my life. It’s on my record as DUI even though it was charded as “careless driving,” as there was no breathalyzer etc. No sympathy, no doubt I’d had some drinks so whatever. After being accused of DUI the month before moving back to SF I relapsed into heavy drinking with an old buddy for about a year, and worse, due to existential despair over the implications if DUI. Then I found out tons of people have them. Life is funny.

I’m more sober and healthy than I’ve been since 21 before I first drank, but I spent Thanksgiving alone on the street in Palo Alto, with my regular bathrooms closed and denied access to others. Sadly most people would slide back into drinking in my situation; I dunno what I’d do without YouTube.

I know I drifted off. I see some harsh judgement here and it’s uncalled for. Personally I think people should be able to demonstrate that they’ve been habilitated and have their records wiped. Alcoholism is complex, and the last thing that will help is imposing upon a life meant for growth. Dis-ease, to make uneasy; disease, like alcoholism. Penalties only make things worse. Revoke the license and treat the soul of the person and let them earn it back, sure. Spending a little time homeless hasn’t hurt me (18 months), so nothing in a treatment program should hurt anyone. The DUI popping up on background checks certainly doesn’t make me eager to apply to jobs; it comes with very harsh judgement; “rightly so,” my old self would say. No, permanent punishment for symptoms are pretty much evil.

[throwaway40324]

Thanks for your words tonight. I've been in the same boat and that's why I replied to the overly generalized, naive, parent comment. I hope you're okay. I'm nowhere near SV, but reach out to someone local if you need. Maybe you drink the wine, maybe you dont, but dont give up okay!

[tehwebguy]

We also punish violent adults who learned to be violent in their childhood. It is sad to think someone might be doomed to be who they learned to be as a child.

But it’s also clear that many have risen above such circumstances and even far worse. So we protect the people from those who put them in great danger (whether by impulsive violent outbursts or dangerous drunk driving).