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by UnpossibleJim 2407 days ago
Weirdly enough, I was having a chat with my mom about this sort of thing last night (she's 69, not 70, so I'm not sure she's old enough for her opinion to count, yet). Both of us were chatting about our tendency to be solitary and only see family and a couple of core friends. Past that, we'll hide away in books and study for days and not notice, perfectly happy but when we have to come out of our houses we are out of sorts with the world and it scares us a little that we are so very happy in this hermit way. We have to force ourselves to be social, which is supposed to be the key to long life and happiness - and we try, but it comes so foreign to some. I have to wonder if these 'keys to happiness' are as universal as advertised.

And for the record - we both are social, but it isn't our natural state =)
2 comments
lynnetye 2407 days ago
If socializing feels uncomfortable at first, but rewarding after, then it sounds like it's a good thing to "force" yourself to do. But if you're doing it just because you think you're supposed to and it actually isn't enjoyable, then maybe you can rethink what "being social" means. Or rather, rethink how you practice it. You don't have to leave your house in order to make friends, build relationships, or feel connected to other people! Invite people over. Or if you prefer 1-on-1 interactions, just invite one person over at a time.

My husband is super introverted and will always choose being alone over being in a big group of people. I'm the complete opposite. But we're both still social animals. We both get energized by camaraderie, interesting discussions/debates, and human connection – we just have different preferences for how we engage w/ and achieve those things.

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tonyedgecombe 2406 days ago
which is supposed to be the key to long life and happiness

I often wonder about that. I'm sure if someone is gregarious and outgoing then they would suffer if they were deprived of social contact. Is this the same for introverts? I wonder if any of the studies on this control for introversion/extroversion.

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