[agumonkey]

Your analysis is very well worded. Do you think you could not readjust your internal compass to value partially limited efforts (efforts that you said you considered were under your maximum capabilities) so that you take a long time averaging view on them. Sure you could go 99% and destroy yourself but no human should destroy himself[0] so it's totally acceptable to chunk your work into "good enough for now" and keep going at a smaller pace.

I used to suffer from social anxiety due to the need to outperform everything. After personal grief I realized I owe nothing to nobody and it made my brain infinitely more focused about my internal pleasure and sanity rather than external constraints. I'd rather be nobody and smiling than suffering. It made me balance things and put limits on things. I still value being active and working good and hard but only to an extent.

[0] I'm not talking about absolute freedom to destroy yourself if you ultimate think it's your desire.