I haven't had a reference check in a long time. The last company that asked for them didn't even check them. Any hiring people out there feel that reference checks provide any meaningful insight?
I call references consistently. Its good to get a sense of what some of the negative and positive perceptions of the person interviewing. I don't necessarily consider a negative point from a reference a deal breaker, a negative for one manager, is not the same for another. I do feel its better to go into the relationship with your eyes open.
Seems only shitty if they are recruiting you to place your friend. Otherwise it could be read as, "hey these two developers seem to like each other and have worked together and we need more people". It could feel like a safer bet to hire people you know will get along.
Sure, but this discourages people who would otherwise be willing to provide references; if someone is willing to freely give you their time to talk to you about one of your candidates, it seems courteous not to potentially waste more of it by giving them an unsolicited offer.