[Carpetsmoker]

A lot of these problems seem to stem from people unwilling (not unable, unwilling) to exercise judgement, and apply the rules in an ever-so-slightly flexible fashion.

With the right attitude, a lot is possible, but as you said there is often this "wall of indifference". I think a big reason for this is that it can feel good to exercise power over other people by saying "no". This is doubly the case if you live in a society where everyone is always doing this to everyone else: you feel "small" and pushed around, so when you actually get the chance to push others around you'll instinctively grab it.