[Kye]

Do you typically refuse to learn new things because some people who know those things are toxic assholes? I never would have learned anything about computers, writing, or music with a policy like that.

You do you. I'll be over here learning new ways to expand on the human experience.

[atonse]

It's not about refusing to learn new things. You're missing the point. It's about having to think about (and having to apologize for it if you don't think about) something that's completely irrelevant to the conversation.

Others have rightly pointed out that there are some StackExchange networks where your pronoun matters. And I'm sure in those, it's worth putting in the effort. But for StackOverflow, MathOverflow, Electronics, these things are absolutely, positively irrelevant to the subject. It neither adds nor takes away a sense of inclusivity because _it's not relevant_. It's a neutral thing.