[davewiner]

Here's how this works. Imagine you don't recall this event. And then he says about you what he said about me (I don't remember the words, and I don't want to, but sounded like I blew my top). Now further imagine that having lived with yourself a long time, you know that isn't how you react to things like that. How would you feel?

You're only telling me how you feel. But you're forgetting that I am not you. And I got a lot of that kind of childish BS. You wouldn't believe how people project on you.

One time at a party in Menlo Park, I had to go take a leak. So I walked to the bathroom, relieved myself and went back to talking with my friends. Sounds pretty ordinary right?

The next day this guy blogged about how I WALKED RIGHT BY HIM without even looking at him. He got all kinds of empathy. I had no idea who he was. I guessed that I mustve walked by him on the way to piss.

It got to the point where people would video me in parties, conversing with me with a camera in their pocket. Or when I went to a meeting at Blogger, and they video'd that, live. We were there talking business. And I got visitors at my house, that was fun. Knocking on the door wanting to know if I lived there, saying shit like this guy was saying.

As a result I pulled back and traded my influence for a bit more normal life.

I haven't even told you the worst of it. It was pretty fucked up.

So this little story here is a reminder of how fucked up people are. His memory of me, a guy who he says created software that he used and liked, is the time he treated me like an object. Sad for him, and also sad for me. And sad for the world that there are limits on how much you can do before they start hurting you for it.

[bachmeier]

That's messed up. Nobody should have to put up with that. The only thing I knew about you before this was your history of outliners http://davewiner.userland.com/outlinersProgramming It was more interesting than it should have been.

[kragen]

> And then he says about you what he said about me (I don't remember the words, and I don't want to, but sounded like I blew my top). Now further imagine that having lived with yourself a long time, you know that isn't how you react to things like that.

Dude, that is definitely a common reaction on your part. You're famous for flipping out at people. Anyone who read your blog for any length of time saw it happen online a few times; anyone in the tech scene in the 2000s had you flip out at one or more of our friends in person. I'm sure you often don't react like that, but you do react like that enough for it to be very notable.

Moreover, your offended and condescending response makes it clear to anyone reading the thread that—unless there was some major provocation edited out of the original comment above, the way you used to do with your blog—you’re at least sometimes hypersensitive and prone to overreacting.

[latchkey]

Spot on.

[latchkey]

My story wasn't projecting at all. It was simply a story for background and an apology. But you seem to have turned it into more than that. Treating you like an object, what? I also used your software, I didn't say I liked it.

[Kye]

I read a good post on this subject: https://medium.com/@soatok/friendship-and-the-furry-fandom-4...

People who are well-known are people a lot of people want to get to know, but they remain human with human limitations and human priorities.

I've found the best way to get in touch with well-known people is to have a genuine interest in talking to them about mutual interests.

[davewiner]

And talk to them like they were human beings, which they are. ;-)

[cromulent]

I'm really sorry, but I upvoted your comments, and his, because I thought they were interesting. And wow, Dave Winer is commenting, and a guy who has a story about you from the 90's.

And that pushes his comment to the top, and yeah, here we are.

But a lot of us are very happy about your 25 years. And we know you aren't a bad person, but a human who had a human reaction to an asshole comment in a bar.