These issues aren’t mutually exclusive, and it’s not “dumb” to argue about something that affects the the software engineering community personally and that we can have a meaningful impact on.
I mean, those are all good things to do. But the software engineering community is largely isolated from those issues, so it’s natural that our conversation shifts to things like pronouns instead.
Arguing about pronouns is, in fact, dumb and no, it does not affect the software engineering community "personally."