[jablinski]

Oh how I can relate. It's been about a year now since I closed my failed startup, and still no webdev job after many interviews. After a year of countless applications, interviews and networking with no result (insanely repetitive and people can sense the desperation) things start to spiral. I get this sense from friends and family that they begin to think something's wrong with me and distance themselves - not to mention being unable to afford to do much.

There is something about spending too much time on the same problem that may drive a person insane. I think it might create deep valleys over certain neural pathways that are shared with other important functions. For example after a year of grinding on the same problem of "get job" my mind has become hyper sensitive to patterns and hidden meanings like never before. I'll see a leaf blowing in the wind and my mind will sometimes slip into interpreting it as some symbolic message from the universe to help me find a job. In a way I can sort of understand these homeless guys that walk the streets talking to themselves - they might just be further along, so deep in this pattern recognition psychosis from trying to survive that their brains are telling them the whole world is talking to them directly.

[seph-reed]

> I can sort of understand these homeless guys that walk the streets talking to themselves

Good for you man. I honestly believe that every person should lose their mind at least once. Once you've built up some insane reality, it'll always be there, and the space between is (IMO) kind of special. It's amazing how one can hold two completely contradictory storylines of the world in their head. And for me it helps with groking how different the inside of other peoples minds can be. How real it can feel. How fake my real is. How just as plausible their real could be.

For those interested, one of the easiest cheapest ways to lose your mind is to go live out in the woods for a while (bush fever). Seriously, if you've never had your bubble burst, it might do you some good.

[Blakestr]

You are describing what is known as the "dark night of the soul.". (though traditionally this is a spiritual sense I think the deepness of what you're describing could be spiritual as well.)

[shardinator]

Hey, would love to connect. I’ve been looking for a few who’ve been there and have appropriate skills. Can be remote/nomadic. Not sure how HN works on the backend - are you able to send me an email or PM?

[jablinski]

Yes, thank you. You can reach me at the email in my user profile. I'd love to hear from you.

[shardinator]

Done :)

[john_moscow]

A very important skill I learned is to catch myself spending too much time solving the same problem head on, fire an interrupt, step back and rethink. In most of the cases, approaching the problem from a different angle, reformulating it, or just saying "Fuck it. Plan B now." is much more viable than ramming yourself into the same closed door over and over again.

[dlphn___xyz]

sounds like you've never had to deal with unemployment/being out of the job market