[Schmazo]

I'm reminded of an old Weekly World News article in which a man tiring of losing his keys so often took the drastic step of having a surgeon implant keys at the end of of his fingers, so he could never lose a key again!

The photo they used to accompany the outrageous story was hilarious. Nowadays, that doesn't seem as far-fetched of an idea, with somewhat similar futuristic key implant methods becoming more readily available.