[aguzzi94]

Oh sweet sweet failures! I'll start. I recently started trying to quit drinking for good, since it slowly turned from a thing that made me all charismatic and happy and jumping around, to a bitter angry man. This change started when I got together with my current girlfriend, since every time we would go out and have a (probably more than one) drink, I would get jealous (I'm very jealous and insecure, working on it) for stupid silly things. Problem is the alcohol made my jealousy amplified by 100x (wish it would do the same with my startup revenue)and I would flip out for nothing. Two weeks ago I promised to my gf and to myself that I would have stopped with this behavior and that I would have drunk less. No need to say, that same night, I drank waay too much and flipped out because she just glanced at another guy and made her cry and leave me there all alone, drunk and stupid. She couldn't take it anymore. Fortunately, the day after we talked about it and I decided to quit drinking cold turkey (Allen Carr's book helped a lot in this- suggested if you're in the same boat). It has been 10 days and I haven't touched a drop of alcohol nor I intend to. Working on my insecurity/jealousy as well. Your turn!

[samuraiseoul]

I'm coming up on three years sober this Sunday.

For me the thing that helped the most was the /r/stopdrinking sub on reddit. Reading people's experiences and techniques from all sorts of groups and books, and reading about the triggers and follies of their relapses helped me a lot. Also a place where I could talk about problems related to the sobriety was nice.

If you live in a bigger city or another you may want to look for a craft soda shop. It can be helpful when you go to a friend's where they drink. You'll have your fancy soda so you don't feel left out when they get their fancy beers. Also my 3 go to drinks for bars and such to not feel left out or another are: a mock mojito, ginger beer with a splash of cranberry juice, or a roy rogers(coke with grenadine). In that order. A lot of places can't make a mojito, some places don't have ginger beer or they have super low quality ginger beer, but everywhere has grenadine(which is pomegranate syrup not cherry...) experimenting with mocktails and stuff at home may be a good thing for you depending on what your relationship with alcohol was like.

Also last year for my soberversary I wrote an article on my sobriety and experience in tech if you want to give it a read. A lot of my points above are expanded and there's some good discussion in the comments. https://dev.to/samuraiseoul/alcohol-and-developer-culture-19...

Lastly, if you want to talk or vent or have questions feel free to reach out to me either on here, or using the contacts in the article I linked to above.

I will not drink with you today, good luck and good job on the ten days!

[aguzzi94]

Thank you very much for the tips and insights. If I need help I will reach out or take a look at r/stopdrinking, but rn I feel very confident about this. I finally understood that alcohol literally has 0 upsides, therefore my desire for it is just gone. Again thank you for your time and cheers! Raises a cup of orange juice in the air

[partisan]

This is a success, actually. You know what the problem is and you are doing something about it. One day at a time.

I was drinking to excess in the past few months. Didn’t make it home one night. It’s way more trouble than it is worth and I plan to change my trajectory.

[aguzzi94]

"Didn’t make it home one night." I know what you're talking about man. Check out Allen Carr's books. The one about smoking had me to quit cigarettes almost 1 year ago. The one about alcohol had me to quit it 10 days ago. They are amazing!

[bathtub365]

Wellbutrin helped me hugely with the craving aspect of relapsing: it's also used as a stop smoking aid and I was lucky enough to have a doctor who decided to try it. I found that once the craving was taken away it took about 6 months for the other pieces to fall into place for me to start to feel comfortable out in social situations while sober, but the amount of personal growth I made over that period of time was huge. I feel like I've finally waken up and started living my life. I was an opponent of pharmaceuticals for a long time but that one worked for me without the side effects you usually hear about with antidepressants. I thought I had tried just about everything to stop drinking and I was close to resigning myself to the kind of life I was living, but this has given me hope. I don't know if it's for everyone but it's working for me.

[aguzzi94]

Try reading Allen Carr's books. They are the best. I quit smoking 11 months ago and drinking 2 weeks ago with his books. They eliminate the desire for the drugs because they nail into your head that those poisons have no upsides whatsoever.

[ykevinator]

Man, you are so self aware. That is such a huge asset. You may have a genetic predisposition to addiction. Try not to be a "dry drunk" which is a real thing and good luck. Thanks for sharing your situation.

[aguzzi94]

Thank you for the kind words. I personally don't buy at all into the line of thought that says alcohol addiction is genetic. If that was true, one could be an alcoholic without drinking even one beer in his/her life, and die without knowing it. It would mean that, if alcohol was never invented/found, there would still be people with a genetic predisposition to alcohol. Can you tell if a 2 year old is an alcoholic? You see were I'm going. The more you think about this theory (that was never proven and backed by reals studies) , the less it makes sense. The AA are doing a great job at supporting people in need of help, providing them with a group of people to relieve their burden with. But I truly believe that they're based on the wrong assumptions. Again thank you and wish you the best!

[max_effort]

It's great to hear that you quit drinking. I quit for my own reasons and I'm approaching 2 years now. Keep going, it gets easier! :-)

[aguzzi94]

thanks for the support, I really appreciate it :)

[Insanity]

kudos man! And good luck :) I haven't drank since uni (about 5 years ago), and don't miss it :) You'll be fine, no worries.

[aguzzi94]

Wow that's amazing! Yeah it's poison and doesn't do you any good. the so-called benefits are a mental illusion.

[sethjgore]

Check out the Sinclair method for reducing/ resolving drinking problems with a simple medication. It worked for me. From heavy drinking to regular use or even way less than regular use. Recommend 10/10.

[aguzzi94]

I heard of it, thank you. But I live in Italy and to get a prescription for it here it's harder. I read Allen Carr's book and it did the trick for me!

[disposition2]

Working on this myself, IWNDWYT