[protectid]

On the subreddit now as I type this. Man you have hit the nail on the head though with the one line. I feel so guilty when I disagree and she doesn't see my point. Its like I want her to say okay I see your point but we never seem to get there unless it is her point of view. I want to stand up for what I believe in (for the record it is things like how to save money, stuff I can pull numbers for). I come from a family where we plan things long term. So we would sit and talk about a kitchen renovation for a year or two while we saved money and weighed different options before doing. Even then we would do as much as we could ourselves. She comes from a family where you just call up a designer and contractor and hand over the house. Trouble is we don't have the money to hire designer and contractor and we don't agree on how to save money so it comes across as if I am stingy person denying her, her dream kitchen. She isn't a horrible person I promise but we just cannot do things together and I don't know what to do.

[gjulianm]

Please watch out about red-pill forums. Standing up for yourself is good, being able to communicate and be assertive is good, but the underlying ideas of the red-pill community is to build relationships on games and dishonesty, with a nice base of sexism.

[PhasmaFelis]

Absolutely. If anyone is looking for a forum that tries to address the reality of modern men's issues without making it into a zero-sum game of men-versus-women, I've been reading https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/ lately, and it's actually really good. Yeah, I know it's hard to believe, but seriously. Take a look.

[raphaelb]

I would second this. I read most of "No More Mr Nice Guy", and while I found it helpful in some ways it also was just not as "clean" in my opinion as "Boundaries" by Anne Katherine.

[VoiceOfWisdom]

MRP is pretty different in that regard. Its more about recognizing the ways society tells men to behave that don't actually help them or anyone else.

[gjulianm]

Thanks but no thanks. I read some posts and the guides they have. Superficially there's some good advice, but under all of that there is still the push to take relationships as a zero-sum game that you have to win against the other person with some tricks and rules. IMHO, it's just a recipe to create a toxic and maybe even abusive relationship.

[VoiceOfWisdom]

Read the sidebar. You get one victim-puke on /r/askmrp. You will get your shit pushed in, but it will make you a better man. No one has the answers for you, but the tools are there.