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by rdiddly 2477 days ago
You're pretty clearly in an abuse situation. Important: the abuse is the reason you haven't found another job. Because 1) you can't put your best foot forward when you're under attack constantly, and 2) I'd wager you don't come off as really wanting the jobs you're applying for because as you said, you think they'll be like this one. None of this is a coincidence by the way; an abuser needs an otherwise rational and free-thinking adult to decide to stay there and take the abuse, despite the fact that it's abuse and said adult can easily tell it quite obviously sucks and is intolerable and they should leave immediately. How would one accomplish this feat of making someone think the exact opposite of what they know is right? By underhandedly making you believe that you're always wrong (or doubt that you're right), and that you're worthless and nobody else would want you, and that losing this job would be the worst thing in the world, and a variety of other things. Oh and that all jobs are like this. Yes I'm asking/accusing/wondering aloud whether that idea didn't somehow come from him too. Only because it so nicely dovetails with the goal of making you stay. Only you know the answer though, so consider where you got the idea. And by the way, let me reassure you, most jobs are NOT like this one. Most people are normal, kind, and supportive. The great irony is that the thing he threatens you with is precisely the BEST outcome - to leave this shit situation. In my state (yours may vary) if he fires you, or even if you quit, you can apply for unemployment, and there will be a phone hearing, at which you can make the case for managerial incompetence, i.e. that he not only fired you without cause, he also abused you, has a history of same (document it), endangered your health (stress, weight gain?) etc. such that you had to quit. It would be the truth.

Anyway, I repeat, the abuse is what's stopping you from getting another job. The longer you stay (and a year is already an eternity in this kind of situation) the worse it will get. You are in a FUCKING EMERGENCY. It's not "save up money until I can afford to quit," it's "quit now[0] because I can't afford NOT to quit." Worry later about paying rent. People break leases all the time without repercussions. Again your state landlord-tenant law may vary. Do you have any supportive family or friends you can stay with? You should let them know what happened, move in with them and start healing from this, and returning to normal. And actively challenging and verifying everything you "learned" at this job.

What I'm advising might be extreme. There will be problems to overcome if you do it. But at least you won't have to overcome them with that monkey on your back. I'll monitor this thread in case you want to talk.

[0] Edit: Or make him fire you.