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by LandR
2481 days ago
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This is such a weird thing isn't it. It's like this in the UK too, every conversation starts with "How are you?"
"Fine, how are you?"
"Fine." It's always the same, pretty much. It's daft, it's just like a ritual that everyone is happy to partake in. No one is actually asking you how you are, it's just a noise that both parties have agreed to start each conversation with. No actual information gets exchanged. You could easily replace those phrases with nonsense and as long as both parties are aware of the nonsense and what the nonsensical response is expected the it would work just as well. Person 1: "Hippopatumus soup triage?"
Person 2: "Triangle, Hippopatumus soup triage?"
Person 1: "Triangle." It's so strange. |
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It (re-)establishes the relationship between two parties (and to observing parties). You can tell if two people are strangers, friends, or enemies by how they do this ritual.
It signals intention on part of the initiator and receptiveness on part of the responder. If "Hey, how are you?" gets a cold and abrupt "I'm fine." without a reciprocating question, then it's a pretty strong signal that the other party isn't open to further or prolonged conversation.
It's also like a shibboleth. How someone interacts in the ritual can signal how well socialized s/he is and whether s/he's an in-group or out-group member. If you ask someone you don't know very well "How are you?" and s/he immediately begin telling you about the rash on his/her belly and how s/he hate the traffic and the weather, then that might tip you off that s/he doesn't understand your society's social protocols and therefore is either a social misfit or an outsider.