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by debrice 2485 days ago
I wonder if being on Facebook reduces your motivation to build new friendships (it does take some work) since it allows you (with little effort) to maintain some form of very limited remote relationship? Maybe without Facebook, we (remote people) would be more motivated to build new local, face to face, and fulfilling friendships?
3 comments

>> I wonder if being on Facebook reduces your motivation to build new friendships (it does take some work) since it allows you (with little effort) to maintain some form of very limited remote relationship?

As someone who moved away from my home country about 8 years ago and is still in touch with old friends via WhatsApp on an almost daily basis, this (regretfully) definitely rings true.

See, I'm the opposite. I moved away from my home country a little over 6 years ago.

Facebook meant I wasn't quite as lonely as I might otherwise have been. I've never had many friends where I lived anyway, but as it works out... I do now. Facebook has helped facilitate that and facilitate communication with the local friends.

keeping up with old friends is good, but not to the point where it interferes with the now.
Regarding keeping/losing old friends, I always believed that making new friends (and losing some of the old ones) is vital to someone's progress. Especially in a world that people relocate. I read this nice article about this here:

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/if-youre-not-losing-friends...

I've found that leaving social media, I was forced to actually message my friends more to feel connected. I end up talking. We do things and go out. I meet more people. Getting off the passive dopamine train makes you do the active hard stuff. You realize it's not that hard.
What was amazing to me was how much time I got back in my life.

Without social media filling up all the spare minutes, then overflowing into things I actually need to do, I have so much more time to do things I want to do.

> I wonder if being on Facebook reduces your motivation to build new friendships

It didn't for me. I still made friends in real life, and FB helped me deepen some of those friendships by helping me reveal more about myself (I'm an introvert who's much better at writing than talking).