[rayiner]

This paradox of choice largely doesn't exist in the US either. The majority of people in both countries didn't graduate college. For almost everyone, the elite universities aren't even on the radar (much less the elite employers like FANG into which those universities feed). This upper middle class striverism is over-reported in the media, but is irrelevant to the vast majority of Americans.

My wife went to high school in rural Iowa. Everyone went to the local high school, and then the smart kids went to U of Iowa, the next tranche went to Iowa State, etc. Her parents were "rich" (her step-dad is a surgeon) but there wasn't much in the way to distinguish them from everyone else. Other “rich” families owned farms, a couple of stores in town, etc. She did FFA (Future Farmers of America) and worked her way through college babysitting. (Tuition at U of I is $8,500 today, about the same as University of Toronto or McGill.)

I should add, in Iowa under 10% of people are below the poverty line, about the same as Canada, infant mortality rate is about the same as Canada, the homelessness rate is 1/10 what it is in Canada, 94% of the population is covered by health insurance, etc. I just got back from Des Moines. Talk about a prosperous, broadly middle class society. The child poverty rate in Des Moines is 14% versus 25% for Toronto. There are no FANG jobs, but millennials with completely normal colleges-graduate jobs own houses. If you want to know why many Americans don’t view their country as a loaf-apocalyptic wasteland, it’s because they don’t live in New York or San Francisco.

[neplus]

I wouldn't disagree with any of this except to suggest my comment was narrowly tailored to parents who feel compelled to provide their children "the very best" education and opportunity set in the country (predicated on ranking and exclusivity). If you believe American parents who aim toward this have an undue paranoia about class and an unhealthy amount of insecurity, then I'm afraid we entirely agree.

However, the point was that in Canada, because the peaks are lower, getting "the very best" education is much more readily achievable by those in the middle than in the United States.

> If you want to know why many Americans don’t view their country as a loaf-apocalyptic wasteland, it’s because they don’t live in New York or San Francisco.

I certainly hope my post hasn't given this impression. I have a green card and am proudly in the pipeline to become an American citizen.

This is a wonderful, special country which has provided me immense opportunity that does not exist within Canada (the primary thrust of my original post).

[perl4ever]

The vast majority of NY is more like the cliches people spout here and elsewhere about Kansas than NYC. The capital district of NY has about a million people, and IT jobs paying $50-70K. Just as you say, "normal college graduates own houses". You can get a place here for the same inflation-adjusted price as 25 years ago.

[imposterr]

*if you're straight and white.

For many, living in Iowa isn't really a choice. Same for many places that are not major cities.

[rayiner]

I won’t claim to know what it’s like to be gay in Iowa, but as a non-white person myself I’d love to live in Iowa. Des Moines has roughly the same percentage of Hispanics and non-whites as Portland or Seattle. The income gap between Hispanic and non-Hispanic households is also narrower in Iowa than the national average.

[JoeAltmaier]

Iowa City, home of the University of Iowa, has a large, active, prosperous gay population. Activism is outspoken. Churches have gay ministers. The Gay Pride parade every year is boisterous and hugely attended.

Not that there isn't gay-bashing, like so many places. But I'd guess there's 'safety in numbers' going on?

Anyway even back in the day, I had several gay classmates (but back then they weren't outspoken about it). These days, my son's classes had coming-out parties etc for classmates.

My daughter-in-law's parents are gay and outspoken about it. My cousin's daughter is married to a wonderful lady, and they've adopted 4 kids who are amazing additions to the clan. We have lunch once a month and catch up.

So some parts of Iowa, at any rate, are not wastelands of backwardness.