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by wannabcodr
2486 days ago
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Indeed, I succumbed to the habit as a teenager, when I was indoctrinated by full time users who were also my peers who abused my physically in pre teen years. Upon starting marijuana usage with these peers, they saw that I reacted to the substance and proceeded to abuse me psychologically. This planted the seeds necessary to catalyze a lifetime of delusion and exploration of waste and dipping my toes into counter culture. Now almost entirely alone and disconnected from any meaningful social roots, and suicidal much of the way, I’ve long since disconnected from such malicious people. The group of friends from high school who didn’t use marijuana ostracized me by 18 and I stopped being alive since then. Now I’m in my 40’s and have been preparing for suicide with increasing inevitability since starting weed. I “gave up” on a fulfilled life as a teenager and have coasted my way to an inevitable suicide as a “stoner”. |
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For every time I've been caught in the place described in the first four verses, Christ has gifted me to see the other side in the last ones.
There's only one way to be sure you'll never have a chance to rejoice like that, and I pray both that you'll seek help before it comes to that, and that you'll be granted the same joy it describes.