[Mz]

I'm also a woman and like iuguy (above) had difficulty figuring out what she meant. My best guess: By 'spending down capital', I think she means that if sex is used as a weapon, then every time you put out, you lose some of your power because the power you have comes from withholding rather than from satisfying -- which is a pretty grim view of the whole situation but I have known at least a couple of women who did apparently withhold sex in their marriage, which is partly what I am basing this inference on.

I did think she meant pregnancy and the myriad consequences tied to it when she talked about women being at a disadvantage to begin with and at risk of greater loss.