[colmvp]

Yeah I will say this: As an Asian dude, my experience with dating sites has been pretty mediocre. Literally thousands of profile interactions, handful of mutual responses, and dates with women where it was clear neither of us were super interested in one another.

I posted a graphic of the results on HN a few years ago where I pulled data from CoffeeMeetBagel of every outcome based on ethnicity in my city that's mostly composed of non-Asians (I don't personally care about ethnicity but w/e), and well.. it was about what the stereotypes would suggest about Asian guys as undesirable individuals.

In contrast, my experience with randomly meeting romantic interests either through work, school, or mutual interests (i.e. hobby meetups) have been more fulfilling, diverse, and statistically probable.

[atom-morgan]

My experience is pretty similar to yours. I'm a pretty good looking guy and I'm in great physical shape but I feel like two completely different people irl vs. online dating.

IRL, I feel pretty marketable even in America. Girls aren't googly-eyed or anything, but I feel pretty confident in my ability to at least secure a date.

But when I go on online dating apps? I might as well be Sloth from the Goonies. This only applies to America btw - in Asian countries it's a completely different story.

[scottlocklin]

I've done plenty of online dating in my day, and I guess I have no complaints about my relative success at it (most of which was done in ultra competitive Bay Area), but I've always found that winning at it is sort of like winning an argument on the internet or a race in the special olympics.

You can tell almost precisely zero about the person on the other end of the internet machine, so it becomes a ridiculous numbers game. Beats nightclubs if you're new to a city I guess, but otherwise "make more friends."

[justlikehoney]

I feel you bro. If you don't check the boxes, you just get filtered out. Online dating is a shitshow if you're not in the top 10% of what the average women deems attractive (i.e., tall, white/European, and fit).