[umvi]

> Sex is pretty cost free

Not sure if you are joking or not, but I would wager the costs of sex are actually enormous even compared to drugs. Look no further than the costs and issues surrounding the following: adoption, foster care, abortion, child support, single parent welfare rates, STDs, etc.

In theory sex is a "cost free" recreational activity, but in practice it isn't.

[jolux]

well, if you’re super careful with your contraception and have easy access to abortion...also lots of queer sex runs no risk of reproducing accidentally. STIs, on the other hand, are definitely a risk.

[hombre_fatal]

A man having casual sex is basically gambling that the condom works and that the woman will abort if it comes to that, something he has zero say in. I don't know how anyone can say sex is very risk-free.

As I get older, "don't stick your dick in crazy" makes more and more sense. Pretty much all the STIs in my demographic can be cured with a $20 pill. And almost all of my post-nut clarity revolves around fearing becoming a father prematurely.

I grew up hearing about the archetype of the heroic man getting laid constantly. In my 30s I now meet that man all the time: he's now saddled with a kid with a woman he rarely sees while trying to date for real.

[8f2ab37a-ed6c]

> Pretty much all the STIs in my demographic can be cured with a $20 pill

If only. HSV2 affects 1 out of 6 people, rarely shows its symptoms and can be latent for years, has a big stigma associated with it, and there's no amount of $$$ you can pay to make that go away, unfortunately. Also the occasional antibiotic-resistant variants of the $20 ones, if you get sufficiently unlucky.

[hombre_fatal]

Fair enough. I mainly was trying to elevate the fears of unwanted children rather than downplay the risk of STIs.

Though among the people I know close enough to know this about them, nobody has HSV2 and almost none of them know somebody who has it. Meanwhile I know a dozen men stuck with accidental children with women they never wanted anything to do with.

CDC says HSV2 has 12% penetration into the population aged 14-49 but has no further demographic info. HIV is even more common yet I don't know anybody with it because I'm just not in the high risk demographic. So these just aren't part of my perception of day to day worries (perhaps incorrectly, as you would point out) compared to unwanted children.

The person I replied to made it sound like unwanted pregnancy is a solved problem which isn't even true for women, thus categorically less true for their partners.

[8f2ab37a-ed6c]

Sure thing. A couple of points:

1. 90% of people with HSV2 allegedly don't know about it, because it's not a standard STD test you'll be given unless you have an outbreak 2. People with these conditions aren't parading about it, there's no upside to it, so most just keep it to themselves and their doctors. People are afraid of being "outed". Some will go so far as not to tell the people they're hooking up with about it. (not ethically recommended / legal, but that's humans for you)

[jolux]

If you’re a man, sure. But I’m not a man, people with uteruses sometimes have hysterectomies, and birth control is a thing. It’s not 100% but you should absolutely be thinking about that when you have sex if you’re a man. Your say in it is accepting the risk and living with it.