[shioyama]

> Which I think is more of a problem than helicopter parenting in America

Sorry, as a parent in Japan, I beg to disagree. The system here has lots of problems, don't get me wrong - and I really don't like the "juku" (cram-school) model at all. But particularly at younger ages (which in many ways are the most important ones), there is still that fundamental freedom to be on your own with your friends.

Kids age as young as 5 are often out on their own with their friends outside, or walking to school, etc. That's something you would be arrested for in the U.S.

I see the North American situation as much more scary, TBH.

[dragonsh]

Well Seoul, Hong Kong, Taipei, Singapore, Beijing, Shanghai are similar when it comes to kid going out. But the childhood is still under siege in these places by constant pressure to excel with lots of extra curricular classes. My close friends kids in Tokyo, Seoul, Hong Kong, Singapore, Taipei, Shanghai and Beijing spend most of their time in extra tutoring or music or painting or dance classes or something else where they have to excel. They have very little time left to just play and learn social skills. During some free time, they spend time in self-absorbing mobile or online games.

So I don't think Asian cities fair better than North America or Europe. It's a global problem. Two kids seating in front of reach other talking via instant messanger or in-game chat.

[shioyama]

> My close friends kids in Tokyo, Seoul, Hong Kong, Singapore, Taipei, Shanghai and Beijing spend most of their time in extra tutoring or music or painting or dance classes or something else where they have to excel.

Of course this happens, but let me return to my point: it's perfectly normal to see a 5-year-old in the park on their own (here in Japan). In the U.S., the parent would be arrested.

Don't try to convince me that those are the same, they clearly are not. Pressure on kids, etc. varies by social strata, city/country, etc. But the degree to which it has been institutionalized, accepted, etc in North America is very different, and I would argue pathological.

[lonelappde]

Please stop spreading falsehoods about America.

[Izkata]

It's a rare thing, but it is a thing:

https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/07/arreste...

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/...

https://geekdad.com/2015/01/kids-play-arrested/

https://www.cnn.com/2014/07/31/living/florida-mom-arrested-s...

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/13/parent...

I didn't even have to dig to find these, they're from the first page of results of a single Google search.

Counterpointing myself though, in the third link you can see reference to active pushback against this whole thing: http://www.freerangekids.com/

[shioyama]

Thanks, and to respond to another sibling comment: this may be rare in statistical terms, but it is more than real enough to motivate a very clear pattern of behaviour among parents (not allowing kids to roam freely, etc)

I speak from experience having had people (including family) be shocked at how free our kids are here in Japan versus the experience in North America. Whether the media are making things worse (probably) is besides the point: you can get arrested for this as a parent. That's completely absurd and would not even be understood (let alone accepted) in many other countries, including Japan.

[dragonsh]

I have enough ties to USA and looking at the kids of majority of my childhood friends I can say for sure that they are similar or better off than an average Asian kids who spend majority of time not playing outside but immersed in school homework or extra tutoring activities.

The pressure in Asia builds even before pre-school where toddlers have lessons to attend, to get into a decent pre-school.

Anecdotal evidence to see some 5 year kids playing in playground alone in Asia doesn't prove the point that parents in Asia are not robbing their kids of their childhood.

USA is big multi-cultural place with many different parenting styles. Painting all of them with broad brush without statistical significant studies is not ok.

One might not get arrested in Japan, does not prove anything. I might not agree completely with USA system, but it must have a reason to exist.

[kerng]

Its not unheard of. My friend had cops called on him by neighbors because kids where playing "unattended" by themselves in the front yard! This caused lots of trouble for the family, incl. potentially loosing custody - its insane!

[seattle_spring]

> Kids age as young as 5 are often out on their own with their friends outside, or walking to school, etc. That's something you would be arrested for in the U.S.

Do you mean "until age 5"? All of the kids I knew from that area of the world, as young as elementary school, spent every second either studying for school or practicing piano/violin.

[mikekchar]

I'm guessing you knew upper middle class kids from over-achieving parents. Normal Japanese children don't do that. Generally speaking, elementary kids are running around on those 2 wheel wobbly skateboards (not sure what they are called), or playing baseball or basketball (around where I live basketball is surprisingly popular). Right now it is summer vacation and across the road my neighbour's kids are yelling at each other like normal ;-)

[shioyama]

No, I mean what I wrote, "as young as 5".

> All of the kids I knew from that area of the world, as young as elementary school, spent every second either studying for school or practicing piano/violin.

Sorry, but "that area of the world" is way too broad. Korea, for example, is quite different from Japan. And in any case, it's dependent on the cross-section of society you're talking about.

Elementary school itself, for example, is not suffocating at all, from my experience. Too much homework, yes, but not to the point that kids have no free time.

But again, my point is not about the amount of work. It's about the freedom to be on their own.