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by tracker1 2501 days ago
There is no escape from assholes at any company of even medium size. From the narcissistic architect, to the arrogant sales rep, to the ignorant vegan. It's part of any society.

The problem is, people have been coddled so much and isolated from it to the point that they're unable to cope with it when they experience it. More people need to spend more time pushing themselves into uncomfortable positions instead of averting them. Don't let a temper get the best of you and stay rational. It makes you emotionally/mentally stronger.

3 comments

I think it's the opposite. Sex, politics, and religion used to be verboten in any professional context. There's good reason for that: you're going to have to get along with people who believe different things than you do, and the best way to do that is to focus on your work instead of your beliefs.

Google created a culture where employees are supposed to personally identify with their beliefs and now they're paying the price.

I've been in professional workplaces for about 25 years now. Early in my career, I was even in a few offices where I was the only male. You'd be surprised how raunchy office conversation can get when a mostly female office forgets you're there. I've also worked in nearly all male environments and it was similar. IMHO it's not nearly as bad today, people are just more sensitive from my own experience.

The problem is the inability to stay calm and interact with people of differing views.

edit: I find it interesting, I started working in the early 90's at a time when a lot of office environments were shifting mindsets. When smoking/drinking at work was starting to become widely unacceptable, when social interactions between men and women were starting to be widely discouraged. I think a lot of things are better, and a lot of things are worse. But it was never as "professional" as some people seem to think.

I think one of the major issues, is that if I say "I'm just not into identity politics" the person will be knocking at HR's door in precisely 5 seconds and HR will be scheduling re-education for later in that day.

You cannot just be here to do work these days. You have to be an activist who happens to do work for about an hour per week, but the rest of your day better be spent expressing the approved opinions, genuflecting at the correct people, and consuming the designed propaganda. These companies don't have employees, they have activists who they are too afraid to fire.

> The problem is, people have been coddled so much and isolated from it to the point that they're unable to cope with it when they experience it. More people need to spend more time pushing themselves into uncomfortable positions instead of averting them.

I promise you that when LGBT people encounter bigotry at work, the problem is not that they've never been discriminated against before and need more discrimination to toughen them up.

Yes, dealing with assholes is an important life skill, and it takes time to learn.

I don't see how that relates to my point. They have to be dealt with one way or another, I don't think we should just accept their presence as inescapable. Assholes should be confronted, not tolerated as inevitable.

I'm not saying don't confront them... but that policies aren't necessarily the answer. The answer is actual engagement from a rational perspective.
Yes LGBT people should dispassionately discuss with homophobic and transphobic folks by rationally engaging them in the marketplace of ideas.

"You know, you think my sexuality is an abomination that should not exist and I will go to hell, but have you ever considered that - hear me out - this could not be the case? Do you have any data to back this up? Aren't you falling into an ad hominem fallacy?"

"Ah right, you have correctly pointed out a gaping hole in my otherwise excellent deductive reasoning. I hereby bow to your argument and am not homophobic anymore."

And once again, the power of rational debate shines through and through.