[jmcqk6]

It takes a particularly simplistic view of the world to have a response like this.

For many in the tech world, getting a new job is straight forward, but that is not the norm. It is stressful. It might require moving to a new location. it might require taking a pay cut.

There are many reasons someone might want to stay in a crappy job. One might be it's the only job they can find in their current location (especially outside of tech hubs), and they are tied to their current location for reasons of family or other obligations.

I have a friend who is staying in a shitty job because one of the perks of the job is reduced college tuition for her son, and that's more important to her than being happy at work.

You are a privileged person if you have never experienced something like that. I hope you never do. But please don't assume just because you haven't that no one else has either.

[johnisgood]

You are not forced to work with assholes. Period.

> There are many reasons someone might want to stay in a crappy job.

Many reasons for choosing (or preferring) to stay, I never denied that.

> I have a friend who is staying in a shitty job because one of the perks of the job is reduced college tuition for her son, and that's more important to her than being happy at work.

A choice has been made here. The choice to STAY, and NOT LEAVE. It does not magically make it forced when it was a voluntary decision. Your friend preferred to stay in the shitty job because she valued reduced college tuition for her son more than she did not want to do the job. You said this yourself: "that's more important to her than being happy at work.". Exactly! Where is the "force" here? All I see is preferences and values.

[jmcqk6]

Given an unrelated choice, they have unchosen and unwanted consequences of having to deal with an asshole. Play word games all you want, but the average person understands the meaning here.

They do not want to deal with the asshole. That's what is meant here. Not an analysis of all the history and choices that led to them to this moment in their life. This is not difficult to understand.

I don't know what point you're trying to make. That they should care for their son less so that their life is a little easier? Because that is what it's sounding like. Or maybe you're just being a pedantic asshole yourself.

[johnisgood]

Thank you for calling me an asshole, but this was not necessary.

> That they should care for their son less so that their life is a little easier?

Definitely not. I am not sure how you could conclude that given my posts about choice and preferences. I do not care which choice they make, but they made one over another because they valued that over the other. There is no force here whatsoever, it is all about preferences. If you value your job more (for whatever reasons, e.g. so you can feed your kids) than you dislike assholes, you stay. Some people would rather switch jobs than remain with assholes. Some people would tolerate it. Some people are too lazy to take it to their superiors (or just do not care enough). Of course the list is non-exhaustive, but the point is that neither of them are forced to stay and work with assholes. That is my point, that ultimately you are not really forced to work with assholes. You are free to leave the workplace. You are free to switch. You are free to attempt to resolve the issue. Depending on your workplace, you may be free to join another group. Again, this list is non-exhaustive, too, and to make my point it does not matter. Maybe you could read my other comments on the subject, but in no way am I suggesting what you think I am suggesting. Let me regurgitate, my point is: no one is holding a gun to your head and forces you to work with assholes.

Please re-read this one:

> A choice has been made here. The choice to STAY, and NOT LEAVE. It does not magically make it forced when it was a voluntary decision. Your friend preferred to stay in the shitty job because she valued reduced college tuition for her son more than she did not want to do the job. You said this yourself: "that's more important to her than being happy at work.". Exactly! Where is the "force" here? All I see is preferences and values.

I am not trying to suggest a choice for her, why would I decide for her? I am not trying to decide for her. I am simply making an observation regarding her values, and they are fine! But is she forced to do what she does? No! She made a voluntary decision. There are no mysterious forces.

How about you tell me regarding your example where or what the force is, then we can continue it from there. However, it is going to be difficult, because even you yourself said this: "that's more important to her than being happy at work.". It is exactly what I meant. No one forced her. She made a choice based on her values and preferences. Do you disagree?