[enobrev]

Nothing specific. I don't even remember when it started.

As a teenager I was high often, with the occasional fungal trip and it was never a thing.

And then somewhere in my mid-twenties, I noticed a point when I smoked too much, I started getting really down on myself, and then eventually realized it wasn't "me" but that voice.

I tried to ignore it. I tried different strains. No luck. I had one really bad episode after a delicious cherry pie made with weed butter by a chef friend while living in Seattle where I ended up on my couch for 8 hours catatonic in my self-hatred and despair.

Sometimes if I'm having a really good time with friends it won't bug me. Others, it's nearly debilitating. So I keep to 5mg or less in edibles, and only rarely. I miss it but it's not that big of a deal.

I worry more about my own mental health and if this is evidence of something more serious. I wish there were studies or something I could learn more from or partake in.