I had a beautiful beginning with a lisp like programming language when I was 8 or something. Every other languages have been disappointments until I found Clojure a few years ago. I hope you will get it some day.
The only way I was able to grok programming was through Racket. I owe my confidence and understanding to Gregor Kizcales’ How to Code, which makes clear to this art student what a dozen other language tutorials in a dozen other languages could not. I deeply love Racket and give thanks to its makers.