[munificent]

> I do miss how people there tried to be _neighborly_

Yes, there's a certain presumption of goodwill that seems to be lacking. I think of it as "tolerance" in the engineering sense — the idea that we each need to give a little more than 50% in an interaction to account for some slippage and human error.

I do believe that micro-aggressions are a real thing, that small-magnitude interactions that are consistently in a negative direction can add up to a large negative effect. But focusing on those makes it hard to gracefully accommodate the normal noise and random error in humanity. If we aren't also tracking the "micro-benefiencies", then it paints everyone who ever makes a mistake (which is all of us) as deliberately malicious.