Video games can have a very similar reaction on the brain as drugs in the release of dopamine. This is my biggest fear raising my kids in this technology driven age.
You should be afraid for yourself as well. I mean I'm not going to poo-pooh my kids for getting engrossed in video games, I was just like him and if I had my way I'd be in there all the time. And you know this would go for you as well. I'd argue it's even worse today, with e.g. mobile phones being always within reach and games and media being always-on, infinite in content (Roblox has millions of user-generated games, youtube gets more videos a day than anyone could watch in a lifetime, Reddit / Twitter / etc are infinite, etc).
I mean our games back when were singleplayer and story-driven, but they were still super engrossing. It came to a point with me when after obsessively playing Pokemon for a few weeks (getting super red in the face and everything) I went sick for a week. Probably not related since my dad got the same bug but still, it felt related. Didn't enjoy Pokemon after that.
This isnt just games. Lets be frank. We can become addicted to anything given the right physiological triggers.
Capitalism has optimised itself to the point where you are nothing more then meta data. Its at the point where a team of accredited people can sit infront of the meta data, and your product, and they can design ways to trigger dopamine responses.
Putting "any" kind of "modern product" in your childs hand will lead to one thing. Now put a connected device in their hands, and your putting your child in the hands of unlimited amounts of teams, using unlimited amounts of tickery, to earn profit from your child.
Now add back in a dynmically manipulated game environment, where these tools are utilised by predators to exploit your child for their version on profit.
This is the challenge of being a modern parent. Junk food, everywhere, all the time.
Well take an inspiration from ultra-rich - don't cheap out on raising your kids and entertain them with potentially addictive games on phones/tablets/computers. They don't expose their kids to any of this till age 7-8 IIRC.
I see it so many times around us - parents are tired, so here ya go kiddo, play with a phone so daddy/mommy can rest. Kids get addicted quickly, then when you take their game away they go mental, try emotional extortion, break stuff, whatever just to get it back.
I know I must have had a mild addiction to PC gaming when being teenager, so many hours, days, weeks and months of wasted life. I won't allow the same thing for my kids, if I can help it. Replace it with physical activities, adventures, travelling, education. Harder, but much more rewarding for everybody involved
At some point (particularly with teenagers) you have to accept they're making a decision. 16 year old me certainly wouldn't have been impressed with a parent pulling the plug on me playing Counter Strike so I could go do something "wholesome" on my own outside. Video games can be a heslthy release/form of entertainment - is it any worse to spend 10 hours a week playing Roblox than watching whatever garbage I was plonked in front of when I was 8 or 9?
I wonder how many adults would respond better in that situation. It's been a long while since I've had anyone tell me what I'm allowed to do with my free time.
If the kid is more interested in playing counter strike than to go geocaching or build a robot with a parent, something is wrong. Obviously everything has limits, too much parent activity is too much, but that applies to counter strike as well.
Just because youre more interested in geocaching and building robots doesn't mean everyone else is. I get that these are just examples, but it's ok for kids to be interested in things their parents aren't.
Of course. As I said, limits. Some counter strike is OK, too much is not and it should not be in place of physical and educational activities. The kid certainly should be able to choose their own activities, but these should be educational and physical at least some part of the day. I specifically chose examples of potentially fun things to do because I wanted to show that it doesn't have to be boring study time/ride a bike around the block time.
First, the super rich can afford it: they have full-time nannies that can help raising children.
Second, an exhausted parent is not going to be parenting. Everyone needs a break.
Third, your approach would have left Bill Gates a nobody. Instead , he was "addicted" to computers. Many high performing and successful individuals are so because they have in effect an addiction which makes them go beyond the ordinary person.
This clues you in on to what is next: parenting does not stop because you turned the TV or Xbox on. It means work:
- work to select and make sure your child can only watch YouTube clips that are beneficial : for example advanced math, learning a foreign language , etc (so that by age 4 he is fluent in at least 2 New disciplines)
-discipline so that you reinforce the learned material, for example sit down to review math, only speak to a child in the foreign language you are trying to teach, practice the sport he sees on a videogame
-patience to review video games so hes only playing games that will help him learn (Crusaders Kings, Europa, MS simulator, etc)
Parenting doesn't stop with videogames. My niece could type faster than her mach teacher because of Minecraft. If she had been my daughter, she would probably been a sysadmin by age 16 (server rental anyone?)
For sure; I'm addicted to distractions, in a way, in that I get restless from just sitting on the couch for a while. It's too easy to whip out my phone and go on Reddit /all until it gets weird, and my daily rituals include spending an hour at least browsing HN. I don't think it's that problematic yet, but it is definitely a thing. I'll have vacation in a couple weeks, I'll try and disconnect and go through some books again.
Heavy. There is a scientific book discussing these topics. Centered around our 'neanderthal within': "The 10,000 Year Explosion: How Civilization Accelerated Human Evolution", https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465020429/
I mean our games back when were singleplayer and story-driven, but they were still super engrossing. It came to a point with me when after obsessively playing Pokemon for a few weeks (getting super red in the face and everything) I went sick for a week. Probably not related since my dad got the same bug but still, it felt related. Didn't enjoy Pokemon after that.
eve online and other MMOs on the other hand <_<