[westoncb]

I don't know that there's any particular message I would substitute those with. I think I'd mostly just avoid setting unreasonable expectations. My guess is that the common phrases/sentiments echoed as a I was growing up were so prevalent because some ideas then vogue about how it would develop a child's drive/ambition, or prevent them from artificially limiting themselves (it's a nice idea). My personal view is that honesty is better and that sort of manipulation is a kind of 'technical debt' that will come back to bite later.

Another aspect of it I was reminded of today by a good twitter post (I went back looking for it but it has disappeared from my feed!) has to do with sources of value. It was basically theorizing that lot of people who end up running into issues with generalized anxiety and depression as (young) adults, do so because they place all their self-value in their work and accomplishments (socially defined). He was cautioning people against viewing themselves exclusively as creators of products (in a general sense), and only valuing themselves as such. It's a common trap for folks sort of over-embracing capitalist ethos.

Maybe just making it known that it's _okay_ if they are 'merely' an ordinary person. I bet a lot of this isn't even verbal, but just comes down to whether parents actually are or are not okay with their kids being less than extraordinary.

If you're aware of the issue you're probably already fine though--the rest will follow from that.

(Of course I'm not a professional of any kind on this matter, so, you know--generous grain of salt!)