[rodhilton]

I think it's hard to unasshole someone who doesn't want to be unassholed, or who simply doesn't value it. But I think if you really call out every single behavior that's assholey (in private, so they aren't embarrassed and defensive) then eventually people do start to get it and, if they want to change, can.

It could be one of those fake it 'til you make it deals. Someone is an asshole internally still but puts on a veneer of nonassholeishness because they are operating in an environment where it's not tolerated, and over time kind of mellow out. At the time of writing this comment, there's only one comment on my post and it's from someone who says s/he indeed was an asshole and it took this kind of incessant badgering to figure it out.