[tjr]

Some software engineering jobs, in my opinion, are pretty awful. Some of them are good, but not everyone meshes well with the project and/or team.

I was fortunate in that my first software engineering job was pretty awesome. I subsequently moved around some, and got to experience some suboptimal situations. Had I joined one of those engineering projects first, I might have thought that all software engineering was hideous. But I knew there was better; I had experienced it.

I don't know anything about you beyond what you've written here, but I offer as a suggestion: maybe you just fell into a particularly bad or incompatible software engineering job. There may well be other software engineering jobs that you would enjoy a lot more. If you still think you enjoy "computer science", you might consider applying for a different software engineering job and see how it goes. It might get worse. But it might get better.