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by lionhearted
2550 days ago
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> For example, a comprehensive report on psychosocial stress in the workplace published by the World Health Organization identified consistent evidence that “high job demands, low control, and effort–reward imbalance are risk factors for mental and physical health problems.” I think a key phrase in there is "effort–reward imbalance" — everything I've found in both research and personal experience seems to show that burnout-type effects are much more likely when you're not getting enough of what you want and value. As an example, think of two sports teams that both gave their all in a championship game — the winning team is much less exhausted, they're jubilant and bouncing around and celebrating. Both teams presumably expended similar levels of energy, stress, etc — but the winning team is full of celebration and joie de vivre; the losing team is licking their wounds and questioning everything. There's still limits to the amount of physical and mental stressors we can handle, but winning helps a lot with processing and recovering quickly from stress. |
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I should have left my business years before I did, but it was the winning (contracts, technical coups) that kept me on. You end up like an addict, stumbling through the nightmarish days until the next dopamine rush (and crash) comes along.
Stress and burnout don’t just have mental impacts - they can have severe physiological impacts. I didn’t realise, acknowledge, or recognise this until my third hospitalisation, and years of increasing illness, made it impossible to continue writing off as “just food poisoning, again”.
It’s been nearly three years since I left, and while I’m physically better, and no longer spending half my life puking and delirious (it took six months for that to subside), I still have occasional anxiety attacks. My mother asked me about what I plan on doing for a career over dinner a few weeks back and I out and out fainted.
Never used to have any of this. I was the resilient one, the one who could carry the world on his shoulders - or thought he could. Broke me.