[badpun]

> Right now, I'd say definitely not. She is overworked, and outside of work she is going through a lot with a crazy family situation right now. She recently told me she cried twice in her office one day, but then refused to talk to me about it because "it's too stressful to talk about." That was another issue that made me feel like I'm on the outside and her job is on the inside.

It looks like your wife is in a crisis now. It would only make sense for you to be supportive, by picking up a disproportionate part of chores or whatever, so that she can get her back on her feet. However, if this situation persists for a long time, I'd say you two should have a talk about her being in constant crisis mode (with stress, crying etc.) being bad for both of you, and what can you do to change it.

[careerspouse]

Good insight, thanks. I do notice some bouncing from crisis to crisis with her. Not that all of them are manufactured -- some are very real and unavoidable. However, she has a tendency to fall into the role of victim, where these things in her life happen to her, and she's just trying to survive. I would LOVE to figure out how to help her out of that mentality and take ownership of all aspects of her life.