[asveikau]

I think microaggressions are definitely a thing, but the term is being misused here.

[LaGrange]

I'll go further: it's very common for abusive people to intentionally misappropriate the vocabulary of people they abuse. This ranges from "telling me to clean up after myself is a microagression" to "we're going to name our fascist party socialist LOL."

Someone's waving their power around, plain and simple.

EDIT: also, this thread is going to be baaaaaad.

[asveikau]

Perhaps, but I think sometimes we are very eager to label people as abusive or toxic as a shortcut to understanding them. So I would avoid being too casual with permanently categorizing behavior of abusers.

I have also seen mental illness lead to behaviors that one could call abusive, gaslighting, etc. The wrong kind of label doesn't get those people where they need to be.

[mr_pinnen]

I agree, but one persons microaggression is anothers milliaggression.

[asveikau]

So perhaps the best way is openness and receptive communication on all sides.

A: maybe you didn't mean it, but when you said _____, I felt it was subtle a slight to ____ or I had a bad experience with that.

B: hmm, you're right I didn't mean it. I will take that into consideration.

Bad reactions include:

A: I'm going to be silently angry at B and write snide things on social media. I will label them with loaded terms.

B: This is outrageous! What has the world come to with this politically correct BS?! Suddenly I have to think about what I say?!