[rjohnk]

I took a couple days off when my children are born, but as any dad/husband knows, after mom is set up at home and extended family visit and leave, there isn't much to do. I was bored after a few days so didn't mind working. Baby eats, poops, and naps. Dad gets in the way. :)

[cbsks]

As a counterpoint, my paternity leave was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. California provided 7 weeks; I took 3 weeks immediately after my daughter was born and the rest spread out over the first year of her life. My daughter was a relatively easy newborn to take care of, she didn’t have any serious health issues and she was (and still is, thankfully) a very good sleeper. Even so, being home the first 3 weeks was an invaluable help to my wife. My wife fed our daughter every 4-5 hours, so I helped do things like grocery shop, make food, change diapers, put the baby to sleep, do laundry, tidy the house, etc. so my wife could get some sleep in between feedings. I have very fond memories of my daughter falling asleep on my chest while swinging in our hammock. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything.

[sqs]

Agreed here. I have a 2-week-old and I (as a dad) found a ton of things to do to help.

[cbsks]

Happy Father’s Day!

[nradov]

It's a shame people are down voting you for sharing a personal experience. Perhaps it's some sort of moral judgment?

My experience was similar. When my children were born my in-laws came to visit for months and did almost everything. There wasn't much for me to do and I felt like I was mostly just in the way, so after a couple weeks I went back to work. Fortunately I had a short commute and a somewhat flexible schedule so I could come out and help when needed.

[treis]

> It's a shame people are down voting you for sharing a personal experience. Perhaps it's some sort of moral judgment

The "Dad just gets in the way" part earned my downvote. If that was his personal experience, well, there's no nice way to put this, but that means he's bad at being a dad/husband. Even if we accept that Dad has no role in breastfeeding, there's still diaper changes, laundry, baths, and cleaning up various messes. Then there's helping out mom recovering from child birth and all of the cooking/cleaning to support normal life. With all that needs to be done and the best you can do is just get in the way? Not a good look.

[rjohnk]

Ha! Thanks for the judgement. I'm a very good dad/husband, and I never said I did nothing. I just stated i went back to work after a few days. I was always home in the evenings, weekends, mornings.

[dragonsngoblins]

Most of the cooking/cleaning can be done after work depending on your life style, so it seems a bit of a leap to suggest he wasn't doing that even if he was working.

[rjohnk]

Exactly. It wasn't like I wasn't around or did nothing. It's just from 9-5 I worked. Did chores / helped the wife out all other hours of the week. Not sure why it offended some. The traditional notion of nuclear family roles is really dying it appears.

[40acres]

Pretty surprised to hear this to be honest, did your wife feel the same way? Any complications during the birth of afterwards?

[rjohnk]

No complications. Wife wanted me to get out of her hair as well. I was always helpful of course. Just got back to my 9-5 after a few days at home.

[Impossible]

This works in families where the extended family is actually useful and or respectful. In my case I was the only person available to directly support my wife after child birth.