[wayoutthere]

I was basically a 50/50 bisexual, and after a failed marriage to a woman with jealousy issues, I knew I didn’t want a purely monogamous relationship so I was open about that up front. I started dating in the poly scene, and eventually ended getting close to a guy who was also dating my future wife. She and I ended up clicking as well (most people in the poly scene are bisexual to some degree), and we all eventually decided since we were hanging out and sleeping together every weekend, it may make more sense to do that under one roof.

I’m out to everyone in my personal life: we tend to hang out with a lot of polyamorous people / swingers and LGBTQ people. I’m also out to a few people at work, though only in an LGBTQ diversity context (I personally lump polyamory under the category of “Queer” along with heterosexual people into “lifestyle kink”). I know a few people at work who are also in poly relationships — which is how I learned it helps to designate one spouse as the “work spouse”.

When open-minded monogamous folks find out, their reaction is mostly curiosity — which is why I think an openness to polyamory is way more natural that we would think. When I mention the three income thing it really strikes a chord: when we have kids, we can have one parent stay at home full-time without sacrificing quality of life. And it’s not much more expensive than living in a monogamous pairing since we have one grocery bill, one mortgage and one set of utilities.