[unfocused828]

I disagree that writing is undervalued. I think that writing is highly valuable and highly rewarded...but that the path to overcome challenges with writing is bafflingly mysterious. Does anyone know of a therapist who has experience helping people overcome writing anxiety?

I genuinely don’t know how to find one. Therapist-shopping is baffling.

I ask this as a software engineer who can produce pretty solid writing if given enough time but for whom doing so prompts thoughts of severe self harm. I was pushed to resign from my last job as a result of handing in a nearly-blank self-evaluation during my company’s performance review process, so I’m willing to spend... I guess up to $8k, (maybe more? Anything’s better than suicide to be honest. I love life in general and suppose it would be rational to spend half my income to eliminate the risk of it) On getting this finally solved after 2 decades of occasional agony.

[pjungwir]

I used to help coach college friends in their writing. Often their first drafts would have complicated pretentious sentences that really weren't even parseable as sentences, and first I'd ask them, "What do you mean here?" And then when they'd explain, "Write that down!" Perhaps something like that would work for you, to help take you from a "composing" mindset to a "conversing" mindset. You could even record yourself or use some dictation software. It may even make your writing easier to read.

It might also reassure you that professional writers often say, "There is no writing, only re-writing." The first draft is never the final draft, so you don't have to take it seriously. Just jot down whatever comes into your head. Some people start with an outline, scattered words with arrows connecting them, questions to answer, blank spots, etc., whatever helps to keep you moving forward. Getting started is the hardest part. Keats used to chain himself to his desk to force himself to write something. Sometimes it even helps to set yourself a silly challenge, like randomly open the dictionary ten times to pick ten words you have to include. They don't have to make it into the final draft---but they could. :-)

You might also want to read some books about good writing. Strunk & White is good. Their advice is "keep it simple." Clear and Simple as the Truth is sort of a step past that to a slightly more artful style. Another book I enjoyed was The Artist's Way, which despite the title has a lot about writing.

I don't know anything about professional therapy, and perhaps these suggestions are all way off the mark for you, but I offer them just in case you find them useful. I'm sorry that writing is so painful for you!

[thirdsun]

> I used to help coach college friends in their writing. Often their first drafts would have complicated pretentious sentences that really weren't even parseable as sentences, and first I'd ask them, "What do you mean here?" And then when they'd explain, "Write that down!" Perhaps something like that would work for you, to help take you from a "composing" mindset to a "conversing" mindset. You could even record yourself or use some dictation software. It may even make your writing easier to read.

Interesting. I often encounter the problem at other the end of the spectrum: People who are used to verbal communication, which often results in rather scarce writing that resembles snippets of a verbal conversation rather than a cohesive thought and therefore lacks to details to properly understand meaning and intention.

Usually that kind of writing requires a lengthy series of follow up questions to learn anything meaningful about the original idea of the author. Conciseness is onyl valuable if it doesn't sacrifice substance and meaningful content.

[cosmie]

I don't have that strong of a reaction, but realized fairly recently that I also get a lot of anxiety from writing on demand.

What works for me is not starting from scratch. If I do, I'll either never get it done or procrastinate until the last minute (while building up an incredible amount of anxiety in the interim).

Instead, I try one of two things:

1) Repurpose something else I have. As long as I have a seed to build off of or skeleton to frame against, I'm able to tackle it fine. If I have no frame of reference, I'll try to find one. In your self-evaluation case, I'd ask for an anonymous example from your boss or HR to understand the expectations.

Or, 2) Ask a trusted friend or colleague to check it over. My work context switches from C-level client management to architecture and analytics-related dev work. While I can articulate a matter to any audience, that also means I can completely miss the mark if I misjudge an audience/recipient I haven't addressed before. So I'll brain dump a bunch of stuff, then ask someone who's closer to the target audience or more familiar with them. They'll help act as a sanity check whether I'm on the right page, and I use their feedback to refine things.

I'm not sure if either of those coping strategies will help for you, but I wanted to mention them just in case!

[gridlockd]

I think the "starting from a frame of reference" is good, I wouldn't necessarily ask HR for what they expect. That's pushing them to commit to something, which they don't want to do either. Instead, look online.

Self-evaluation is just another piece of bullshit process where people's expectations are formed around the bullshit everyone is handing in. Chances are that what these people are handing in is highly informed by whatever the top Google results are.

Ordinary people don't necessarily have qualms about working this way, people with anxiety issues often have this misguided desire to be "original". Being unoriginal is fine though, it hooks into familiarity and it doesn't cause extra work. Nobody is excited about reading the performance reviews, it's just something to get done.

[ducttape12]

I think any therapist who specializes in anxiety would be a good fit. Some studies show CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to be as effective as medicine.

www.psychologytoday.com has a search for finding local therapists. I'd start there.

And good luck! Feel free to reach out if you have any other questions.

[blablabla123]

I'm a naturally bad writer but somehow I managed to become confident in writing documentation, cover letters etc. For cover letters asking friends/family for feedback had helped me a lot, also for this specific topic there are a bizillion great books about the topic - amazon is your friend. Or google: how to write performance review

That said, I think depending on the kind of writing you want to do, there is probably a book/article about it.

Also what is a nice strategy that always works for me: start with brainstorming or random bullet points. Put things in order, like a 1 or 2 level hierarchy. Mark important things, throw out things you are not comfortable with. Add some details.

Then get an example text. In the case of cover letters there's always a standard structure: intro, main part, end. And then replace it with your words. Also in the case of reviews, maybe you can ask your colleagues to see how they structure their writing and even review yours before you hand it in.

[BurningFrog]

Are you terrible at writing in general, or specifically for self-evaluation?

Personally I feel very confident at writing, to the point where I fantasize about a professional writing career. But I can completely imagine freezing up at a self evaluation.

[bdowling]

Have you considered that you might have ADHD or some other cause for your writing difficulties besides just anxiety? If so, it may help to work with an occupational therapist to come up with specific strategies to work better (e.g., setting up an environment conducive to writing, scheduling time to write, outlining before beginning).