[Mz]

I reckon all the practical people will look at these comments and nod, and the people whose hearts bleed will be outraged.

FWIW: I'm a bleeding heart type who has spent a lot of time pondering how to be genuinely helpful without stepping in a lot of the pitfalls I've either witnessed or experienced first-hand. I've drawn similar conclusions. I would go so far as to say that if you really want to help someone, it is actually cruel to go the "I feel your pain" route. A lot of people will stop trying to really fix the problem if they can get some emotional relief. Also, my observation has been that tea and sympathy is generally offered for really hard problems that people believe cannot be fixed. I have come to view tea and sympathy as a very ugly message -- a veiled way of saying "you poor thing, you're doomed".