[roenxi]

> The fears are justified to an extent, but the simple truth it comes down to is... You're a manager. It is your responsibility to be responsible for those under you.

A lot of people aren't squeaky clean paragons of virtue in everything they do in combination with being secure and confident in their position in the corporate hierarchy. So your suggestion seems to be boiling down to 'figure it out'. What is your fallback if the required behaviors are complicated or hard to figure out? Men-women relationships are fundamentally asymmetrical and unbalanced, and it is the case that most people are poor communicators.

There is an underlying theme to these conversations that everyone should have a basic expectation that they can come to work and enjoy a safe, respectful work environment. That applies to managers just as much as subordinates - if companies are going to act on accusations then they need very clear policy on how much evidence is needed to put a manager's career at risk.

Unless the state of the field is very clear, it isn't reasonable to tell the managers that their role is to put themselves at risk professionally and work it out as they go. The conversation needs to be more detailed about what, exactly, the managers are expected to do outside the formal frameworks and what level of evidence is needed for them to get into trouble.

[shakna]

> A lot of people aren't squeaky clean paragons of virtue in everything they do in combination with being secure and confident in their position in the corporate hierarchy.

Absolutely. It's why I tried to humanise the difficulty of the manager's position. Management is hard enough, without being hyper aware of a culture where actions of all kinds can be easily misconstrued. Hell, getting someone a coffee in the morning can be considered dangerous.

> So your suggestion seems to be boiling down to 'figure it out'.

I'm afraid I can't offer a suggestion for someone trying to figure things out.

All I can say is, if it becomes clear to you that you can't figure out, if you can't find the right balance and those fears are stopping you from doing part of your job, specifically leading women...

... Then maybe you shouldn't be, at least until you do work things out. If you're becoming a problem, and can't find any other solution, then it's probably best for everyone, including yourself, that you aren't in that situation anymore.

Don't take the stress, and don't hurt your colleagues.