[mercer]

Focusing on willpower and self-empowerment is a great strategy when applied to oneself. When applied to others it's often 1) shitty 2) self-congratulatory, 3) lacking in empathy and ignorant of the particulars of another's situation, and 4) useless, because clearly these others seem to not find themselves able to do that thing that you are able to do.

Generally speaking, being shamed or otherwise punished is counter-effective when it comes to changing something, especially when it comes to addictions of various kinds.

There's a huge difference between on the one hand a friend telling you that you can do it, and offering help and strategies, and on the other hand a shitty internet commenter telling you that you're simply not trying hard enough.

Tough love has its time and place, but usually it mostly benefits the giver of it.