[gaspoweredcat]

i dont but i see it differently, if i felt i was good enough it would remove the feeling that i need to get better, the people around me tell me im good enough regularly so i guess i must be doing OK but i wont let that make me feel comfortable as thats when ill start getting lazy

what youre experiencing is "imposter syndrome" you feel like those around you are good at what theyre doing and youre just sort of faking it/winging it and dont belong there when in fact you do. its a wild guess but i suspect youre someone who in younger years didnt really have expectations of great success and youve done better than you expected you would. this is especially common among the self taught and those who have had skill for a long time but only recently been picked up for a technical job.

i personally have been able to code and work with hardware etc since a very young age but im entirely self taught so until nearly age 30 i worked in bars, warehouses and shops for min wage, then suddenly im a key player in a tech role which leaves you feeling slightly like you dont belong especially when those around you have been in the industry for years and have countless qualifications

battling this isnt easy as generally someone else telling you isnt going to stick or change anything, its something you have to find ways to come to terms with yourself

[Starknaked]

For some reason I find it totally demotivating. I don't feel compelled to get better at all. That makes me lazy because I just feel so anxious I have to do something else to distract myself and feel better. It also naturally makes me feel very reluctant to go back to whatever made me feel that anxiety.