[henning]

I've had many similar feelings and still struggle with this.

Look for objective feedback and praise you've received from other people. Most people give compliments when they mean it honestly. Depending on the situation, you can take people's word for it.

Think about how you've gotten better. Do you think back to anything you did in the past and feel like you'd do it better now? That means you've learned.

Things like that are not delusional and giving yourself credit for that is not bullshit.

I suspect with both of us that these feelings touch on something deeper that just reflecting on past progress may not fully address. I'm still struggling with it.

Have you seen a therapist before? These are the kinds of things they're good at dealing with.

[Starknaked]

I really appreciate your reply.

I like objective feedback and praise and I feel it helps on the surface but it doesn't really help with the underlying issue. It's like having a default mode set to "Negative" that can only be overridden for a short period.

I agree with you that there is some deeper underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

I have seen a therapist for a assertiveness course I did which was great. I couldn't see her after that though. I would like to see another therapist but here they are very expensive and I can't afford it. I have thought about using one of those therapy apps as they're much more affordable.