[risotto]

I have a friend that had a true nervous breakdown recently. He's been out of work for 2 years and was essentially living on the street because he has no money and no family to help. You are doing fine in comparison.

There is almost always no way to repair your feelings at your current gig. This isn't a recent thing you are feeling, its the weight of months or years of exposure to toxic materials.

But look on the bright side, you can collect a paycheck while you find an awesome opportunity to move on. Apply everywhere. Take your time. Get a couple job offers. Quit. Take a month off before you new job.

Don't worry about your friends. They can get out on their own.

I've been through this as an engineer at a toxic startup myself.