[NikolaNovak]

I don't know that it's just "German" - it's the kind of bowl I was used to in Europe before moving to Canada.

I am still not convinced that I enjoy the gentle splashback as the stool hits the vastly over-generous lake of water in most public toilets :-/

[thanatropism]

This is literally the first modern internet meme, but you can avoid that unfortunate effect by first setting a leaf-thin layer of toilet paper on top of the water.

[tripzilch]

But often I just really want to poop right away :)

Are you familiar with the paper napkins rolled up so tight they look like a peppermint, and when they get wet they unfurl? Maybe American toilets should have a jar of those things next to it on a shelf so you can quickly drop one in and go on with your business :)

For extra vintage meme, they should be shaped like sea shells.