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by Erlich_Bachman 2626 days ago
> but I feel like you'd get less freedom in your sexual life if everybody was talking openly about it. Part of why I think that way is: people have weird fetishes for example, you could think in a society where you can talk openly about sex and you sexual life you could talk about your weird fetish, but I don't think that's the case, only "popular" fetishes / sexual preferences would be discussed, and "weird" fetishes / sexual preferences would be seen as degenerate.

Likely exactly the other way around: people would hear other people having weird fetishes, and they would understand that most people have this weird side to them, and they would be more ok with their own weirdness.

2 comments

You currently get looked at weird if you say you're interested in trains or stamp collecting or something. I think this prediction is a bit too optimistic.
Superheroes and fantasy have become mainstream over the last few decades. Things do change.
The 2 topics you mentioned simply didn't enjoy a general audience. But the people who did enjoy them did so relatively out in the open.

I can't think of a time in recent history when any weird sex fetish was openly discuss the weirder fetishes.

I object to the word 'weird' here but I get your point.

A time that comes to mind is Fifty Shades of Grey bringing sadomasochism into popular culture and discussion.

(I will argue) the reason 50 Shades could be popular in the first place was because it is fundamentally anti-bdsm: it deploys it for titillation, but safely defines it as 'bad' and those who engage in such are 'broken' and everything is wrapped up and 'fixed' in the end (of the trilogy), so the audience gets to have the 'naughty thing' but get their previously conceived notion of 'it was bad and always will be so' re-enforced at the end.
Sadomasochism has been in the public eye for a long time. Fifty shades of gray made it popular to carry a book about it on the bus, but this was absolutely not an unrecognized fetish prior. It was (and is) one of the more openly discussed kinks.
If I called them “normal” my comment wouldn’t have made sense. “Perceived as weird by society” maybe?
Look at society and political opinions, these days if you're not politically correct you're being shamed and put apart from the rest. Talking about it didn't make people understand that "most people have this weird side of them", on the contrary

I don't like porn being mainstream, and I don't want to know how is a fury or not at my office. I don't think you need approval or random people to feel better. Find someone you love, find good friends, if you're lucky have a family. These are the people you want to talk these subjects, not some random coworker or someone you've met 2min ago.

At least 8 times out of 10, those complaining about "political correctness" are complaining that they are expected to treat others respectfully. Not calling someone by the right gender when they know what the person prefers, for example. I don't think folks should get offended when strangers mess up, but that's another story.

Sometimes random people are the best folks to talk to about this stuff. Just like other things, they might mention something you simply never considered before. Besides, you really have no way of knowing how much the coworkers speak, and most aren't talking about this in the first hour of work.

Porn being mainstream means that folks don't have to hide the behavior as much and no one will be surprised when they find out their lover, sibling, friend, or so on watches porn.

I truly don't want to have a family - I do not want children. I'm female and 40, and I hate folks pushing this stuff on me. There is much more to life than this sort of thing. The goal of life isn't to find love either. I'm OK being by myself, thank you. (I happen to be married, to one of my few friends, and that's OK too).

If you don't like these conversations, ask the people not to have them in earshot of you. I don't see what the big deal is with that.